Shadow Self

Without the darkness, we wouldn't have light. Without light, we cannot have darkness. We all hide a different, darker side of ourselves, most of the time a part of ourselves we may be unaware of. We tend to hide these parts of ourselves from the world around us. We also attempt to hide this side from ourselves. But what if we accepted and absorbed that side through a process to reveal something different? To open our lives to be more authentic…

Carl Jung, the psychoanalyst, and pioneer in many philosophies, developed the idea of the shadow self. Even before we studied it, the shadow has always existed. We all have shadow work to do. We tend to recognize the shadow self in different forms like anger, resentment, violence, judgment, depression, hatred, and shame. The darker parts of ourselves have usually pushed it aside and cloaked it over and over again. Sometimes we do this completely unconsciously, due to many years of conditioning ourselves to ignore it. This shadow; the dark side of us; is usually suppressed so much that eventually, it finds a way to manifest. It appears in many forms like stress and behavioral changes or through relationships where it appears through fear and pain. We may even inflict pain on others through this shadow side to suppress our own pain. The more we neglect this level of ourselves, the longer we are detached and build up emotions and thoughts that harden us. If we explore it, however, we can lead ourselves to more positive energy, greater creativity, love and compassion, and create more self-awareness. I think the most misunderstood element of shadow work is that its about revealing the "bad" within us. This isn't true; shadow work simply reveals the depths to help unveil the brightness within us. We are all messy and that is not just OK it is important and part of what makes us human.

The shadow exploration journey is intense, deep, and sometimes dark and scary. This is a part of every person that can be terrifying to journey through. For many, it can hold intense and scary memories or trauma. Once we can open ourselves to the awareness of this aspect we all carry, we can authentically discover our truth, and sometimes release parts of us that no longer serve us. This shadow can take years to recognize for some and may be considered normal for much of the world, simply accepting that there has to be so much pain. But that isn't true. What if we re-evaluated the parts of ourselves that are messy, scary, cruel, filled with trauma and pain, or hate? Once that level is explored, it opens the door to the real person capable of so much more through true feelings and compassion for ourselves and others. I have explored my own shadow work many times over and feel that my personal work is a continuing process of adjustments and forgiveness. I often realize how that deeper part can be reflected and influence my life. Shadow work involves digging deep into the abyss of you, with an open heart and without fear or judgment. This is scary, uncomfortable, and raw, but so beautiful at the same time. Shadow work is authentic in itself. Many unfortunately may neglect to ever tap into that level of their life, causing detachment or failed relationships from lack of understanding themselves.

Perhaps this is where the "end" comes into play. Where we calculate if we have lived an authentic life when the journey ends. Have we accepted and forgiven the darkness or have we ignored and neglected it? Will we have lost the chance to be who we are if we never explored and accepted this part of ourselves? Have we missed the chance to connect in true love because we haven’t found a way to release old patterns or fears? I fear that I would regret if I never accepted that I have dark, deep, and sometimes chilling parts of me. I wouldn't be able to reach my highest potential of the authentic me without this truth. I have a personality that feels a need to be constantly leveled, perfect, healthy, and even sane. These are aspects that come with self-judgment and guilt. The fact is we all must practice what we preach. For me, that means I must remember I am human too, with my own struggles and the perfectly imperfect inability to constantly triumph in this life; even when I try and help others be their best self. Perhaps the real triumph is the ability to let go and be authentic through even the hardest of times and remind others it's alright to fail, to be angry, to make mistakes, and to feel sadness and shame. When I struggle with these parts of myself, I notice my shadow coming up expecting this perfection from others.

All of our souls deserve to be understood and cared for with compassion and love, especially in the darker days. An acupuncturist I worked with gave me a wonderful mantra I would love to share that helps me remember this acceptance. "I am you, you are me. Thank you for being here. Please forgive me, as I forgive myself and fill my heart with light and love." This helps me remember to allow the darker spaces to come up so the light can help to heal them. That way, I don’t lead with judgment of myself and create a safe space for the healing journey. This is easier said than done, and I often forget I have this tool in my toolbox. Shadow work is ever-evolving and a part of life we revisit constantly. Shadow work sees the darkness to reveal the light. The journey within is a gorgeous one when we allow the work to be done. There are many others on your journey going on a similar path. Shadow work can help us see others as our mirrors, reminding us to tap back in and see how we can work on those darker parts. This work helps us connect with others and create more authentic relationships that embrace ourselves and others for exactly who we are; just people trying to do our best and know it's ok when we don't. Those are the moments we get back on the drawing board and get back to the self-work.

“We spend so much time seeking strategies to change our state- to feel better, to not feel so much. What about simply being with whatever feeling is present in you now...could you welcome it? Could you tend to that feeling with love, the way you would a small child or a precious thing? Could you love your sadness and your grief in that way? We label our feelings and limit ourselves from full expression. Good, bad, positive, negative, too intense feelings...which do we welcome and which do we deny? This is all a reflection of our capacity to voyage into the unknown. If we are willing to let go of the labels, all that is left is energy. There are no wrong feelings. Feelings come and they go. It is in denial of our feelings that we become lost and disconnected from the truth. And it is in feeling deeply that we come to love new parts of ourselves. It is in journeying to our own depths that we become more compassionate, more loving. More awake to the ways we hurt and hold ourselves back. Let the alchemy happen. Let your sadness and grief transform you.”-Rising Woman

Written By Alex Taylor

Health Ambassador

alexkay818@gmail.com