What stresses you out? Stress has so many implications on our health and well-being physically, mentally and of course, emotionally. Stress does more than what we experience in that moment. There is a lot going on inside our bodies and without proper techniques to reduce the way we respond to stress, the body may suffer more than we know. We have all noticed that moment when a person or event can cause our chest to tighten, a butterfly in our belly, rapid heart rate, irrational thoughts, and a loss of our ability to see things clearly. That increase in cortisol (our stress fight or flight hormone) manifests these sensations. When this happens too often and without awareness, we can bring unnecessary health issues and stress into our lives.
Let's look into the physiology of stress and how it can have such an impact on our health. There is a hormone called Cortisol that is released in times of stress. Originally, our bodies released this hormone as a “fight or flight” response for survival, similar to animals. It was used when we needed to run aware from a predator or fight against a fellow human to survive. Thankfully now, this necessity is not often used for such intense survival purposes. The current relevance has evolved to this hormone release for daily stresses. This Cortisol release can occur from an argument with someone, stressing over being late on the drive into work during rush hour, slight panic over an assignment or project being late, or when dealing with domestic problems where fear and overwhelm occur. This hormone release can happen in our current lifestyles so often and on a daily basis, we become unaware of its impacts. The constant release of cortisol can lead to many health issues like increased blood pressure, chronic stomach ulcers, heart problems and arrhythmias, weight gain, and so much more. Taking control over our stress affects not just our minds, but our overall quality of life and long-term health mortality-related diseases.
We can adopt habits that may help us deal with the stressors in our life but they may not necessarily rid us of the mind/body connection that brings the stress out in the situation. This is why the outcome of stress is better related to our perception of the stressor and therefore how we react to it. Learning to deal with your stressors and choose appropriate remedies will help you in the long run and aid in your shift from stress to simply just recognizing these as any other moment while dealing with them in the healthiest way for your mind and body. There are many options for healthy stress coping that directly associate calmness with the mind and body. The list is long when we think of all the “healthy” tools to deal with stress. In this environment, the world can seem like a big ball of stressors. Some days can be easier to cope with than others; we may feel that some days we have a bigger awareness of those stressors than others. When we become aware of these moments, choosing an optimal outlet of release is always more beneficial to help us stay grounded and balanced.
Everyone has a different outlook on what works for them to reduce stress, some healthier than others. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when I may say "right now, this glass of wine will be just what I need to chill out after a long day"; something that another person may reject as an unhealthy option. I have absolutely chosen this instead of going on a walk or deep breathing during times of stress. We are simply human and have to do our best to be realistic and choose balance. My health stress reduction techniques are different depending on the issue. I have developed and worked on my stress management for years and it continues to be a work in progress that is ever-evolving. I would like to think that my stress-coping skills are so strong and solid that things just don't stress me out anymore but that is not the case. Choosing to seek stress reduction in times of crisis or chronic issues life brings is all about perspective. In my opinion, what stresses us out comes down to this perspective. When we work on our stress coping and begin to master it, we take a shift in the perspective of the moment rather than seeing the entirety of the problem fester. The stressor no longer brings the stress response in the mind and body and we become more present and aware in those moments; shifting gears into a more relaxed state that deals with the problem clearly. There are times when simply letting it go can be a very freeing action. This is not always an "it is what it is" or "life is all rainbows and sunshine" but rather learning to allow things and allow people to be what or who they are and remember that sometimes we cannot make a change or things don't work out the way we desire. So when the stressful person or event takes place, try tapping into why that moment actually bothers you-perhaps an old wound or an inner child that has not dealt with the personal issue creating this stressful perspective-and then allow the thing to happen and then let it go.
Now, when these stressors come from certain people and not just an event, we do have more control over this and we should decide if that person is a priority over our emotions. If there is a person in your life that you cannot change your perspective on, or maybe they have their own inner child that causes them to behave inappropriately and it affects you, maybe it’s time to allow that person to shift out of your life. We can make choices to not allow another's energy to penetrate our own if it brings about a negative reaction in ourselves. Some may think this is avoidance behavior and to an extent it is, but I like to think of it as more of a survival technique- to choose a better perspective. We can choose happiness and we can choose to create an environment for ourselves that allows less stress and less mess. We have so little time in this world, maybe what's important is our ability to weed out what no longer serves us and allow more of the things that do.
Let's get down to the stress-reducing techniques. So what stress reduction techniques do you seek in times of crisis? There are so many choices to help relax the mind and the body and I find that I have habitual practices that keep me in check. I discover some in the moment that work for me at that time I may not even have in my plan book. Taking a walk, enjoying a warm bath, practicing yoga or a more intense movement like running or Pilates, watching a movie or a binge-worthy show that helps the mind become at ease, cooking a meal I love the most, listening to music, deep breaths and meditation, spending time with my dog, cleaning up the house, dancing like no one is watching, even a nice nap can help take the edge off. I also love a good drive around in the car; the breeze, music, and free movement all in one! Grounding techniques usually do the trick. Anything that feels like “cleaning up” like literal cleaning of the house or car, maybe deleting old emails, trashing collected memories that no longer serve us, taking a shower, or even simply making the bed look organized can all be simple ways of clearing the mind.
For me, I decided a long time ago that there are just certain things in life that happen and it feels like a powerful moment when you can truly just let that mess go and move on. Otherwise, we’re stuck in a state of feeling unsatisfied because we didn't get validated on an argument, someone changed lanes when you were driving past, another customer cut in front of you at the grocery store, you didn't win the game, it's raining outside, the house is a mess, a project is due; the list can go on. Remember to tap in and be present, allow the moment to be what it is, and then just let it go. If you can, take that walk or read your book. Perhaps after a few minutes, you'll feel more capable to release and let it be. Maybe that reset allows you to see the issue more clearly and lead with appropriate action that comes from a place of conscious awareness and less emotion. Perspective can shift when we lead with more recognition of ourselves and others through stress-forgiving techniques. Think of it like you're in their shoes. These moments can allow for that person speeding past you on the highway to be seen as someone on their way to that important meeting or job opportunity; maybe someone rushing to pick up their kid at school on time. Maybe they are just as busy and stressed as you are, maybe they deserve a pass. Always give yourself and others some grace and remember life is not always easy and always sunny, but there are rainbows in the rain if you look in the right direction, with the right perspective.
"Don't treat yourself so gingerly; you can let go of stuff. Sometimes it takes three breaths instead of two to do it, but you can do it. Be a little tougher and don't cling to stuff. People go around carrying everybody's stuff all of the time. I just pick it up and put it down. Pick it up and put it down."
-Ram Dass
A great tool to turn to for more help in this topic with more self-help and techniques to reduce stressors from various life issues:
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